Discombobulated

Tickle my tummy, tickle my tummy!!

Well it has been a funny old week.

As far as Jack and my son are concerned they are both fine. My son has been giving him lots of commands and rewards when Jack obeys him. This seems to have brought Jack right around to him. He laid on his back and gave him his belly (the dog not my son) quite quickly which is a sign of submission on his part so it seems that Jackyboy now knows his place in the family. We have also been doing a lot of work with him whereby we leave food and tell him to ‘leave it’. He gets better rewards the longer he resists and this will continue until he knows that only food in his bowl belongs to him. So, that is going well up to now.

I have still spoken again to the children about leaving him alone when he is sleeping or eating. I mean it is common sense isn’t it. I wouldn’t want to be disturbed while I was eating or sleeping either.

I feel a bit discombobulated this week for a couple of reasons. Firstly I have been looking for a part-time job to supplement my self-employed job and the perfect one came up. I was short listed for an interview which I attended this week.

I really do fancy this job so badly but it has become clear that even if I get offered it I might not be able to accept it. The problem is that there are a few months of the year that are exceptionally busy and would mean I would have to set off at 6am in the morning, every morning. The early starts for a few months at a time don’t bother me, the perks of the job more than outweigh that. The trouble is childcare.

I have had childcare before but always at what I would consider ‘normal hours’. I have never heard of a child minder who comes to your house at that time of the morning, waits for your kids to get up, gives them breakfast and then takes them to school. I have looked on the internet and I can’t find anything that fits. I have put an advert on the childcare website but haven’t had any responses as yet and I honestly don’t think that I will.

It is at times like this that I realise how restricted my life is. I don’t mind that I can’t go out at night and things like that. Ending my marriage was the right thing to do for many, many, MANY reasons however at times like this I hanker after that normal family life, mum, dad, kids. (Not with my ex you understand, there was never any support coming my way from him) but just being with another person who could support me at times like this.

Also, a personal situation is making me really low and I feel as though it is never going to change no matter how much I want it to. And I do want it to, more than anything. I don’t really know what to do about it. Sometimes I think I can just carry on and leave things as they are for the foreseeable future and others I realise that is just not a possibility if I want to move on in my life and be happy. I have a lot of soul-searching to do and I am not looking forward to where the end result of that is going to take me. I suppose if something makes me more unhappy than it does happy then it just cannot be working out can it? Why can my life not be straight forward and normal like everyone elses? *sigh*

Anyway, enough of my whingeing and feeling sorry for myself. I guess I have to do what I always do and resort to thinking that everything happens for a reason.

Have a great weekend lovely people.